2009: A New Year

It is less than an hour and a half away : the new year. I have had a lot of tough things happen to me this year. I really want to be able to put 2008 behind me. I want to be able to move on and grow. I want to change myself for the better, and not just because others want me to. I hope that you all have an amazing new year. I'm going to try to make it a good one.

I am back!!!

Hello, one and all... I am sorry that I have not posted in over a month, but I have been extremely busy.

So, as you all should know, today is Christmas. Today was a very happy day for me. The morning was kinda bad because I was at my dad's and all he gave me was a $100 gift card. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful, but I love opening presents. ^_^

When I got home, I was very excited to see what her and her fiance got me. I ripped open present after present after present, but my aunt made me wait to get the best ones. Finally I got to open one. The second I tore off about 3 inches of the paper, I screamed and basically hug tackled her. I got a Nintendo Wii!! It was the only thing I asked for, so I was very happy.

But, no, that wasn't enough. One of the last presents I opened, I almost cried. I got a laptop!!! I have been wanting one but everyone told me that I would have to wait until college like my brother did. I was very happy, and I am STILL thanking my aunt.

Because of that present, I will no longer have to use my aunt's laptop, so I will be able to post MUCH more often.

I hope that you all had an unforgettable Christmas as I did!!! I will post again soon...

^.^

Love Sucks

I have been deeply crushing on this guy named Jared for the past 3 months, and my friend Christina decided to ask him if he wanted to go out with me. Well, according to her, he said that he "Doesn't know me"... I still really care about him though...

I always ask myself and my friends what is wrong with me and why guys can't at least give me a chance before deciding that I'm no good. I still have no answer, and I'm left alone heartbroken...AGAIN!!

I'm sorry for the continued short posts...

Moving

It is decided. I am moving... I am going to survive, but it will be really hard to have to leave... I will be leaving as soon as the school year is done, so at least I have the rest of this year. I am sorry that this post is so short, but that was the only thing I need to say...

Marriage

So...My aunt told me tonight that she is getting married to her boyfriend on July 27th of next year. I don't know where I will be moving because he lives 45 minutes away. They haven't yet decided if my aunt and I will move to his house permanently, or if we will live at my aunt's house during the weeks and the winter and live in his house on the weekends and during the summer. I really hope that I do not need to move because then I will have to go to a new school, and that would stink, starting a new school in my Junior year...But I have to wait for now.

One positive, my aunt will be busy with wedding details for a while so maybe she will ease off on the other stuff for a while...We'll have to see though...

Yep...I'll try to post again in a few days, but don't count on it...

I'm Back

My aunt banned me from the computer, so that's why I havn't been on. I am sorry...

My best friend Ashley and I have created a band called Skull Kill. She will be the lead singer, and I will play the bass. I need to save money so I can buy one, so I am looking for a job. If you want, check out our Myspace---- www.myspace.com/skullkill9

I ot my report card the other day. I got 2 A's and 1 B, but I also got a D...I feel like my aunt only pays attention to the things I do wrong. She didn't even say she was proud of my other grades. The only thing she did was lecture me about how I'm a failure...

I guess that's it....My life is very boring latley...

House Is Not A Home

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I have been kinda busy. As I said in my first post, my mother died on February 15th of this year. The two of us were already living with my aunt, so I decided to stay with her. Things were great at first, but now things are going downhill. Fights are becoming more and more common, and they are increasing in intensity. I feel that if I don't leave, it will ruin our relationship. I love my aunt to death,and I will do whatever it takes to make sure that we don't end up hating each other. The only other person I can live with is my father. He has slight anger issues. He used to hit me when I was little (he hasn't since I was 12) and his wife is a really controlling person who hates me. I also don't know what I will do about getting to school because as of now my aunt drives me. There is also a diet thing to be worried about. I am a vegetarian, and I don't know if my dad will want to spend the extra money to support it.

So...Yea I have a lot of thoughts right now...There are pros and cons for each household...Life is confusing...

Being Sick

This weekend, my throat was really sore. I tried to go to school today, but by the end of first block, I felt like I was going to pass out. My aunt drove me home, and I slept, and slept...and slept. I was asleep for about 5 hours today. My throat is still killing me, and I have a cough. I really hate being sick because I can't afford to miss any school... Well, I'm going to get off of the computer before my aunt yells at me and says that I'm putting my germs all over the keys. I'm sorry this entry was so short, but I'll put a much longer one up once i feel better.

Random Talking

So, here I am on my aunts laptop at 9:53 at night. I feel as if it is midnight, but I do not want to go to sleep. My aunt will be gone all day tomorrow, so I will be able to mess around in the house alone for 9 hours. I am going to go to this store near my house in the early afternoon, Sam's, and I'm going to get 2 large Amp energy drinks and 3 pixie sticks. I will be at home, alone, and sugar high. That is going to be a recipe for disaster. Oh well. I deserve some alone time. I feel like people have been suffocating me because of everything that has happened in the last year.

I had a Geometry test today...Hopefully I did well...I feel like I did alright, but that usually means I do bad...I guess I'll see on Monday. I got my World History test back today after about a week of waiting, and I got a 96!! My teacher, Mr. Neilson, said my essay that went with the test was almost flawless. Considering that I failed last year, I think I did very well.

Well, my aunt is gong to yell at me any minute to get off, so i guess today's entry will be a short one. I'll post again soon, so keep checking in!!

First Blog Post Ever!!

Yep...This is my first blog post. I am not exactly sure what to write about, seeing as this is my first, so I'll just say some things about my life.

I go to a school that we call MVHS. I am a sophomore, and I am semi-smart. This semester, my classes are English, World History, Chorus (every other day), Study Hall (every other day), and Geometry in order. I took World History last year, but I sort of failed by 3 points. However, let me just point out that the grading system in my school really sucks. You have to get at least a 70 to get a D. I know. DUMB!! I am doing a lot better this year. I have 2 A's, 1 B and 1 C as of now. I wish there were grades for Study Hall...But then again, I would probably get a D, and that would look bad on my transcripts...

I have had a hard life so far. it is not all bad, but it has been petty tough. I was only one year old when my parents separated. My older brother, Josh, and I lived with my mom until I was about 5, and then we had to move in with my father because my mom had to go into alcoholic rehab. When I was half way through third grade, my dad told me that I had the choice of moving, my brother said no and I said yes. However, he warned me that their was something wrong with my mom. When I first saw her, I cried. She now had scoliosis. She was living with her boyfriend and I moved in. I had a tough time in middle school because I was the biggest girl in my class. Everyone always picked on me for being "fat". I was terrorized all through elementary school.

On the summer after I graduated elementary school, my mother told me that my now step-father kicked us out. With no options, we moved up to N.H. with my aunt. I started school 3 weeks late. My middle school life was a lot like everyone else's, except with a little bit more lies and pain than others. In my freashman year of high school, I heard the most depressing news of my life. My mother got lung cancer. I spent the next 6 months caring for her as much as possible. On February fifteenth, my mom died. I had a series of breakdowns at school, and a few of my friends got sick of me. Towards the end of the year, I started to return to normal, but the pain will never go away. Also, my grandfather passed away on July tenth, so this has been a tough year for me, but thanks to the support of my friends, I have made it through.

OK...This is getting kind of long, so I guess I'll end for now. I will be giving you updates at least once a week, so be sure to check it out!!